Conquering the Fear

A lesson was imprinted on my heart today.

That lesson was, yet again, one of trust.

You’ll recall that I signed up to play hostess to a table of eight ladies at my church’s annual retreat.

You’ll also recall the before and after pictures from yesterday.

The luncheon was today, and I’ll admit that a bit of nervousness still lingered as I approached the tent.

The sight that greeted me was simply amazing.  Every table had been set, and members of the youth group, along with a good number of men, were quickly placing food trays at every place setting.

The smell of hot food made my stomach growl.  I had gotten up a bit earlier to knit the last napkin ring. Yeah, I know.  I was kind of pushing it, but I just didn’t have time to finish earlier.

I made my way to my table and was surprised to discover that the glaring white spaces on my table had been magically filled in.  Here’s what I saw…

Every place at my table had been spoken for.  In fact, I had forgotten to place my own name beside a plate, so I had no idea where I was going to sit.  It was a problem I wasn’t sure how to resolve, but I didn’t fret too much about it.

As I wandered around looking at the other tables, I happened to glance down at one particular place setting at just the right time.  Lo and behold, there was my name tag…at someone else’s table!

Uh oh…now what was I going to do?

I spied the table hostess putting finishing touches on something, so I explained that my name had mistakenly been placed at her table…that I was hosting my own.  I didn’t want her to worry when she saw an empty chair.

Name tag in hand, I went back to my own table.

Nothing had changed at my table.  I still had eight names claiming their spots.

Oh well.  I didn’t worry.

As the guests arrived, they began to make their way to their respective tables.  My ladies came in a group.  They were all from the same church and were, thus, good friends.  As they glanced down at the name tags, they commented about two names.  One lady had been taken to the hospital last night, so she wouldn’t be attending (she’s okay though).  Another lady was also going to be absent.

One of the ladies called out to another who happened to be passing by.  She offered one of the empty chairs to her, and she sat down quickly.  That left one empty spot.

I waited a few minutes, but nobody came to fill it.

I took ownership of it at that point.

Problem solved.  God had worked it out, just as He always does.  All I had to do was wait.

As I tended to my ladies, they were gracious and commented favorably on my table decor, inquiring if I “crafted.”  I assured them that yes, in fact I did.  I gave credit to Ms. M, who had made two of the cloths.  They expressed their appreciation for the time I spent making the napkin rings and other items.

What a wonderful hour we spent together.  I proudly watched the teenagers walk through, offering their services as they passed each table.  This retreat would not have been successful without their help.  Many had already assisted in the nursery and had even stayed late the night before washing dishes and taking out the trash.  Soccer Chick and Rooster were among them, and I was proud to claim them as they made their way past me today.

I don’t consider myself a very social person (I can hear my friend, Figaro, protesting loudly).  I’m really not, though.  I am very uncomfortable with the “Meet and Greet’ time during the service.  I don’t do small chat very well.  However, today was different.  It was like a sisterhood.  We all oohed and aahed over each other’s tables.  What a wonderful support system.
During the course of the morning, I had the opportunity to chat with a friend of a friend whose child attends the school I work at.  We discovered that we have several things in common, including our tendency to forget the names of even our closest friends…at the most inopportune times, like when we’re introducing them to other friends.  Stage fright is what I called it.  We agreed, on the spot, that we would, henceforth, get along just fine.

Another friend made today.

What an awesome day!

God helped me conquer my fear of not fitting in.  It’s one that I’ve carried with me for years and years and years.

I can’t say that the fear has been conquered permanently as I know I’ll try to take ownership of it again or use it as an “excuse” not to do something.  However, I have a strong suspicion that the Holy Spirit will call to mind this experience as a reminder that God goes before me, preparing the way, every time He asks me to step out of my comfort zone.

And the neatest thing is that He is waiting to receive me, if only I take those steps.  I’m not walking into “No Man’s Land.”  It’s His arms that encircle me, just as Jesus met Peter when he stepped out of the boat that stormy night and walked on water.

Steps of faith.  That’s what comprises most of this Christian walk.  It’s scary but so worth the effort…just like decorating the table this week.

Plain to Fancy

The mission:

Take one plain table…

and turn it into something fancy…

I cannot take full credit for the way the table turned out.  A dear friend, Ms. M, offered to help me.

She met me at my house this afternoon, toting the beautiful crystal glasses you can see in the picture above.

Ms. M has a flair for creativity.  She took a look at my yarn and dishcloths and turned them into a cute centerpiece.  The cloth on the left (picture below) is one she crocheted.

She was also kind enough to turn my napkins into leafy-looking arrangements.  They look great with the napkin rings I made.

I’ll post details about the rings tomorrow.

Did you happen to notice the green scarf that I’m using as a table runner?  It’s the Branching Out Scarf I made a year and a half ago.  You can check out my Ravelry project page for more information.

Now, I thought it would be fun to share photos of some of the other tables.  All I can say is WOW!  The church has some very imaginative ladies!

The next table has to be one of my favorites.  It’s a music theme.  I’m posting a picture of the entire table and then a close-up of the centerpiece.  Just lovely…

The next table was another of my favorites.  It’s dog-themed.  The photo after the next one is the centerpiece.

The next table was picnic-themed.  Notice the close-up of a familiar visitor?

The next table is beach-themed.  I love this table!  It’s perfect for my town, which is five miles from the ocean.  The table is clean and simple.  Ahhh…I can almost smell the saltwater and hear the sea gulls…

The next table is too funny…so typical for Florida, I think…especially south Florida, where I used to live…

One might mistake the flamingo for one of the snowbirds that frequent my state…heeheehee

That concludes your tour of the tables that were decorated when I left the tent at my church.  There were still quite a few tables that were bare.  I’m sure that by the time I arrive tomorrow, they too will be as lovely as the ones above.

I’m Quiet for a Reason

Because this is THAT week that everything is happening in the same three days.

Tonight was Soccer Chick and Rooster’s high school soccer banquet.  I briefly ran home after work and then headed over to the banquet hall to decorate.

I just got home.

It’s after 9pm.

I’m tired.

I’ll catch you up on some of the going’s on’s tomorrow.

Maybe.

Who Wouldda Thunk

That you’re supposed to clean in places you can’t reach.

Take, for instance, the top of the fridge.

Here’s what I saw the other day when I went hunting for finery for the table I’m setting this weekend:

Um, yeah, kinda gross, eh?

Here’s a closeup of the wine bottles:

I would say I’m embarrassed, but that would be a lie.  Cleaning is not a priority in my life, and I rather doubt that Martha Stewart is going to be walking through my house any time soon.

It’s been a week of “Who Wouldda Thunks.”  Here’s another one for you…

Who wouldda thunk that you shouldn’t leave a dog and pillow in the same room, unsupervised?

Here’s a close-up of the damage Pele inflicted on the helpless head cushion:

I can’t blame him too much, though.  I think he had memories of a time when he was the proud owner of a stuffed gorilla.  He “loved” on it so much the stuffing magically “disappeared.”

A week of such “illuminations” can make one very tired.

What’s the solution to the above conclusions?

Triple Chocolate Chip Frappuchino

A Royal Visit

There was a buzz around school today.

It all had something to do with this…

I apologize for the haze in the picture.  I ran outside and tried to hurry when I took the photo, not realizing that my lens was smudged.

It was a bit of a funny sight to see a limo parked behind a Pepsi truck, eh?  Only in a small town.

The limo arrived at the school with a very special visitor:  Her Right Worshipful, the Lord Mayor of Westminster, Councillor Louise Hyams and her entourage.

What a mouthful, eh?

My friend, Figaro, found this link, which provides more details about the Lord Mayor.  I didn’t realize, before reading the information on the internet, that Ms. Hyams holds a legitimate office.  Interesting lesson.

One can’t help but wonder why in the world would someone come across the ocean to a tiny little school like mine?

Well, apparently the school’s band has acquired quite the reputation.  It is one of the fewer than 20 that will perform at a New Year’s Day parade in London.  It’s one of the most widely viewed parades in the world.  And this opportunity was bestowed without the band having to undergo an audition.  Even rarer is that a sitting Lord Mayor would personally bestow this honor upon the recipient.

The office staff was all abuzz.  The pomp and circumstance is not what we’re used to.

I mean, we regularly view teens traipse through the office in their camo jackets, fresh from a deer hunting trip before school.

I managed to Kinnear (think Yarn Harlot) her as she walked through the office…

Do you know how badly I wanted to whip out the Big Green Hat and ask her for a photo op.

I managed to restrain myself.

I’m not sure that even the hardiest soul in England could handle that hat.

Open Letter to the World

Dear World,

I have a bone to pick with you.

Who gave you permission to throw me on this merry-go-round you call life?  I mean, I’m not exactly ungrateful for being on it, as the alternative is a bit disconcerting.

However, what started out as a slow spin has evolved into a ride in which I’m holding on as tight as I can.

Now, I realize it’s Monday, and perhaps I’ll feel differently by Thursday, but I still take issue.

Since you’ve seen fit to make things speed up at a dizzying speed, I’ll thank you very much if you somehow add more hours to my day.  Perhaps you might even decide to streamline my tasks…maybe help me complete my projects without frogging them, fix this computer I promised as a favor to a friend, all the while baking the cake and collecting the soccer uniforms while begging teenage girls to use their best handwriting when signing the gifts we’re giving on their behalf.

And that baking soda paste that is touted as the “all-natural” home solution for polishing silver…well, could you please hurry up the process with a minimum of scrubbing required?

I think that’s about it for now.

I’ll be in the corner, casting on napkin ring #2, while I await your response.

Your’s Truly,

AuburnChick

Worth Getting Up For

When the alarm clock went off this morning, I was more than a little bit tempted to turn it off, roll over, and hunker down for more sleep.  I pressed the snooze button six times.

Yeah, I know.  You’d think that I would be awake by then, but I still hesitated.

The only thing that made me get up and prepare for church was the fact that I had to attend a meeting about the table hosting thing.  The retreat organizers were having quickie meetings between services.  The alternative would be to attend a meeting tonight, during one of my shows…The Amazing Race.

Priorities dictated that I attend the meeting this morning.

Hey…at least I’m being honest.

So, off to church I went, with Rooster in tow.  He actually managed to get himself out of bed this morning.  What a pleasant surprise.

Man, oh man, was it worthwhile.

First of all the music.

Our main band was back.  The music leader recently gave birth to her second or third child…I’ve lost count.  She was back in full force, looking lovely and oh-s0-not preggy at all!

One of the songs for this morning…

I love the words of this song!

During my Wednesday Night Bible Study, we’ve been working our way through the book of Luke.  Something that has stood out for me is how the Pharisees were consumed with what others thought about them.  Sure, they followed the Law, making themselves appear to be perfect; however, inside, their hearts were just as dirty as everyone else’s.

This song reminds me that worshiping God comes from the heart.  Too many people think focus on works, when it’s really not about that at all.

I hope, when you read my blog and see the pictures of the blankets and other things I knit for people, that you see through to my ultimate reason for doing such things…to honor God.

I am NOTHING without God.  I know the condition of my soul, and it’s not good.  Without the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross, I would be headed for hell.

Anything “good” you see in me is God’s light shining through me.  I give Him all the glory that He is able to use me despite my inadequacies and fallen nature.

The rest of today’s service was as fantastic as the beginning.  I think, perhaps, that will be a post for later as I need to absorb the lessons I heard today.

Inspiration to Be a Better Knitter

I am such a home body.  Especially on the weekends when the 5:30 alarm doesn’t have to be set.  It’s not uncommon to find me sitting around in my robe for most of the day…especially now that Soccer Chick can drive and willingly grocery shops for me.

Yes, I do have quite the life.

As an almost 40-year old mom of teens, my “real-world” social life is pretty much non-existent.  I don’t mind.  That would require me to shower and fix up…something that it not high on my to-do list on even the best of days.

My “virtual” social life is quite busy, however.  Soccer Chick claims you guys don’t exist.  Just to keep the illusion going, let’s just say you do.

As such, Saturday nights have become special to me.  I may not go out and party, but inside the AuburnChick home, there is one heck of a good time brewing.

All that’s required to join in the fun is the following:  BYOC.

That’s “Bring Your Own Computer” for those of you who are lost by now.

Why, you may wonder?

Because of the Virtual Knit & Spin Chat.  If you’re on Ravelry, you can access the group here.

You don’t have to be a member of Ravelry to join the party.  We use Skype, which is free and can be downloaded here.

If you want to join us, just post a comment, and I’ll get back with you regarding how to add me to your contact list.

If you’ve never joined in a chat, or if you’re not a knitter, you might be wondering why I would consider this chat my idea of “living it up.”

You must remember that I live in a small city that doesn’t have its own “real” yarn store, so there is no such thing as “Knit Night” for me.  So, Saturday nights’ Skype chats have become my Knit Nights.

There’s something very cool about talking with other knitters about their projects.  It’s extremely inspiring to see the patterns they’re working on and hear why they selected their projects.  Some might be knitting for a grandbaby that’s on its way, while others are knitting wedding gifts.  The stories are as varied as the projects.

Tonight we had a few new faces show up.  What a delight!  It’s not to say that I don’t enjoy the regulars, because you guys know how much I love you.

But oh my goodness.  These ladies’ Ravelry project pages had us picking up our jaws from our keyboards and wiping drool from the floor.  If you’re on Ravelry, go to this link and this link.  A friend who shared her friend’s page…that’s how it started.

I’m starting to think that I pick patterns that allow me to play it safe.  Looking at these ladies’ finished projects reminded me that I need to get more adventurous.  I doubt that I’ll ever churn out such magnificent works of yarn art; however, it would be fun to try.  You never know…I might just surprise myself.

One final note…you don’t have to be a knitter or spinner to join the chat.  Knitting is the common interest that has drawn us together as friends.  The circle is one that we look forward to expanding with your presence.

We joked tonight that knitting might just be the key to world peace…uniting one person to another until the entire world is joined.

Not such a lofty goal, eh?

How Did I Get Myself Into This?

Sometimes I could just kick myself.  I often allow myself to be talked into something and then start hyperventilating afterwards.

I’m sure you have NO idea what I’m talking about.  You’re probably MUCH smarter than me.

I had innocently shown up for Bible Study on Wednesday night…written notes in the margin of my text…actually prepared for a change.  The leader of the group sat down and began by telling us of a need in the church.

Always eager to help, we began to listen with rapt attention.

My church hosts an annual ladies’ retreat.  The ladies are treated to a luncheon during the weekend.  Women in the church decorate the tables where the ladies sit to eat.

Yeah, you’re probably beginning to see where I’m leading you, eh?

This year, the church is short 11 hostesses.  That’s 88 ladies who need to be prepared for, with each table hosting eight women.

My Bible Study leader finished explaining and turned her eyes toward me, who happened to be playing Teacher’s Pet by sitting beside her.

That will teach me!

I adamantly refused at first, and she questioned why.

I’ll try to explain.

I’m not exactly good at playing hostess.  I’ve had very little experience doing so.

I do not regularly invite adults to eat at my home.  I’m afraid that I’m a bit socially inept.

Ok.  Simply put…I’m shy.

And I lack confidence.

I am no Martha Stewart.

To be fair…I’m not required to cook for the women at my table.  Thank goodness.  I could just hear Chef Ramsey yelling obscenities at me.  Maybe he would hold back since it’s a church, but I’ll bet you anything that a few mild ones would escape from his mouth.

The tables only need to be decorated with place settings and other accents. Each hostess gets to select a theme of her choosing.

Now…something else I feel like I’ve done that set me up for this is that I’ve talked too much…about my knitting.

I know a few of you who read my blog.  You’re my IRL friends too.  You know that the above sentence is undeniably the truth.

If you spend an hour with me, you’ll quickly learn that I LOVE to knit.  I’ll show you whatever is in my knitting bag at the moment and even pull my feet out my shoes to show off the latest pair of socks I’ve just finished.

So, it was natural for Ms L, as I’ll call my leader, to say, “You could do a knitting table.”

Great.

Why did she have to pick something I like so much.

“No,” I insisted.  “I cannot do this.  I’m not creative.  Just because I can knit doesn’t mean I can put plates, napkins, and a centerpiece together in such a way that they won’t want to throw up.”

Reading a knitting pattern is easy compared to free handing.  I mean, I was taught to color in the lines and trace pictures, for heaven’s sake.

Ugh.

You know what I think it boils down to?  I’m afraid that my table won’t measure up to the other hostesses’ tables.  I do not want to embarrass myself.  Sometimes I think that I’m a teenager stuck in an adult body (although I was mistaken for a 12th grader yesterday…a story for another time).

As these thoughts ran through my mind, I think I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me.  The message I heard was that it’s not about me.  It’s about God and serving Him.  It’s about putting my worries in His more-than-capable hands.  It’s about letting go of my pride.  He will provide the ideas.  I just need to trust.

Another lesson in trust…only in a different area of my life.

So, just like the regular job that God has blessed me with, I’ll trust that He will send me a vision of what this table is to look like.

If you have any suggestions that do not require extra money, please let me know.

Here’s what I need:

A centerpiece…small enough for the ladies to see over so they can talk to one another.  I’m thinking about using my humongous knitting needles stuck into a basket with yarn (acrylic yarn cakes…not my good stuff, mind you…church is for sinners, and some thief might just walk off with my yarn…said in jest…sort-of).

I have to provide eight sets of dinner plates (can be china, everyday – mine is chipped, acrylic, or fine paper as they are only chargers), dessert plates, flatware, glasses and/or coffee cups, and napkins.

I also need salt and pepper shakers, a butter dish, sugar dish, and water and/or tea pitcher.

Oh yeah…the overall theme of the retreat is flip-flops.  I wonder if I can incorporate this into my knitting-themed table.

At the bottom of my “instruction sheet” is this verse:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for me,…It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” — Colossians 3:23-24

Yeah…I think I’m supposed to do this table.  I’m just going to need some help from my heavenly Father and earthly friends.

Being a Good Listener

Every job brings with it the potential to learn new skills or hone others that might be laying beneath the surface.  Such has been the case with my new job at the high school.

The majority of my day is spent on the phone.  I wear one of those one-sided headphone/microphone sets — the kind that keeps one ear available to listen to those who are talking to me in person.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that this job requires excellent listening skills.

I always thought I was a good listener.

I was wrong.

I think I’m getting better with each day that passes.  It’s not easy though.

I’ve discovered that to be a good listener, one must focus on the the words that are being spoken.  The focus isn’t just on the words themselves, but the content as well.  I’ve accidentally deleted voicemail before I realized that I had no clue which date a parent left an absence for.

Yeah, not good.

My desk is positioned in a strange way.  I sit lower than those who approach the desk, forcing me to look up and stretch my neck out, left ear forward, to hear better.

This is not the easiest task for someone as uncoordinated as me.

When listening to people face-to-face, I’ve grown to realize that making eye contact and watching their faces closely helps me better understand what they are saying.

I think there’s a life lesson in my recent training.

You can hear better if you allow others to finish speaking first.  Focusing on the other person is essential to good communication.

I want to work to apply these nuggets to my life outside of work…in my relationships with my family, friends, and, most importantly, God.  How often have I drowned out His words with my interruptions?

It’s only by focusing and giving Him my full attention, will I truly hear what He’s saying to me.