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It’s Okay To Cry

Yesterday I had to attend the first day of a two-day CRISS (Creating Independence through Student-owned Strategies) training session.

I was nervous because it was my first time out since my visit to the doctor on Saturday.

In fact, it was the first day I wasn’t going to be in pajamas.

I walked into training coughing up a storm, but I assured everyone that I wasn’t contagious and had been on antibiotics for several days.

Let me tell you that I was miserable with a capital M. I quickly tired, and I couldn’t wait for lunch.

I was determined to stick it out, though, because I am He-Woman, hear me roar.

My instructor expressed her concern as I left the room. My plan was to grab a nap on the couch in the teacher’s lounge (the training was held at my school).

About the time I laid down, Super Sis called. She’s been checking up on me regularly. Pneumonia is one of those sicknesses that cause people a great deal of concern.

Well, I’ll tell you that I completely lost it and started bawling on the phone.

I was exhausted, didn’t want to stay, but felt like I was being weak by going home.

Super Sis empathized like a good sister.

She let me cry.

Then she told me it was okay to go home…that, in fact, I needed to in order to get better and not prolong the illness.

Finally, after a few more tears, I decided to listen to her advice and walked back to the training room to grab my things and let my instructor know I’d be leaving.

On the way, I saw my mentor, who was training elementary teachers.

My friend, Barb, had already given her a heads-up that I was very sick, so she knew when she looked at me that I needed to go home.

Once again, I lost it and started crying.

Sheesh! I even cried about the fact that I was crying. There was simply no turning off the water works!!

I continued to cry as I talked to my instructor.

Yeah. I pretty much totally embarrassed myself.

When I got home, I couldn’t get into my pajamas fast enough, and it wasn’t long before I was asleep…down for the count for four luxurious hours.

I felt so much better when I woke up but tired out quickly.

After another good night’s rest, I woke up and felt a bit like my old self.

I returned to training this morning and was, happily, able to stay the entire day!

Everyone was incredibly supportive, and my instructor generously gave me the twelve hours of credit that I will apply toward in service requirements.

Since getting home today, I’ve taken it easy on the couch while going through the CRISS manual, happily highlighting the important stuff.

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This whole experience has opened my eyes to a few things. Everything we go through in life has the potential to teach us lessons, and so it goes with my ailment.

I’m learning to listen to my body.

I’m learning that resting isn’t a sign of weakness.

I’m also learning that it’s okay to cry.

For me, crying is usually the key sign that I’m beyond fatigued.

Learning to recognize my body’s signals (apparently joint pain and fever aren’t signals I pay much attention to) is imperative if I’m going to function at my normal over-achieving standards.

Maybe one of these days I’ll finally be grown up and know myself as well as I should.

Until then, I guess I’ll cry, if need be, and then move on to my next challenge.

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2 Responses

  1. You must’ve really been tired & felt bad! So nice of the instructor to give you all of the hours!

  2. Glad that you listened to your body and that you were able to return for the next session.

    Remember, don’t push yourself too hard until you are completely healed! Can you see my finger wagging at you?

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