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Gas Station Goodbye – Part 2

Well, today could almost have been a carbon copy of yesterday, as far as goodbyes go.

After attending church, where Rooster pitched in to help with the light and sound systems, we headed back home.

That’s where the not-so-fun stuff began.

I heard Rooster make a few trips back and forth between his bedroom and his car.

I weakly offered to help him.

I was not feeling too happy.

Depression always sets in the morning that my babies are heading back to school.

He told me he could handle things himself.

Rooster seems to get a little grumpy before he leaves too.

I think it’s his transition time.  I know he’s eager to get back, but I also think that leaving is a little hard too.

We took him to lunch, and I soaked up everything he said…every movement he made.

When he had filled up his belly, we drove to the gas station at Walmart.

It was deja vu.

I stood outside while he filled up his car.

The minutes passed by too quickly.

It was time to say goodbye.

The Mr. went first.

I always like to be the last person to hug the kids when they leave.

I don’t know why.

I reached my arms way up high, for he’s quite tall, and hugged him tightly.

I always give him a kiss, but because he’s so tall, I only pecked his neck.

heehee

As much as I wanted to hang onto him, I couldn’t, and before I knew it, I was waving to him as we drove away.

Sadness descended heavily upon my heart.

When we got home, I immediately left again to run a few errands.

Starbucks was in order, but I started crying on the way.

I sat in the parking lot with tears rolling down my face.

I could not understand why this separation was so difficult…especially given that I’ll be seeing my children again in a couple of weeks.

I called Barbara because I knew she would be a voice of reason and would return me to an un-crying state.

As we chatted, I realized the “why” of my sadness.

Earlier that morning, at church, Rooster’s friend’s mom had approached me and told me how highly Rooster had spoken of me and my teaching.  He’d told her that he could see that I was making a difference in my students’ lives, and that I was very committed to my teaching.

Rooster had never shared those words with me.

While he’s a great listener and can, at times, talk a person’s ears off, he still has a somewhat reserved side.

During this visit home, he’d been a little quieter than usual.  I don’t know if it was relief from projects and tests he’d recently finished or the fact that final exams are only a couple of weeks ahead.

Thus, his friend’s mom’s words touched my heart and, I suspect, made the parting that much more difficult for me.

I’d had a wonderful visit.  Both of my children are so precious to me.

Chicky and I are growing closer…the cracks in our relationship are slowly healing.

Rooster is still exploring options for his future, and it is interesting to listen as he talks about things he’d like to do…different routes he could take.

I am officially on a twenty-day countdown.

There are twenty more school days until Christmas vacation…the time when I can fully engage my heart and brain in the fun of being with my family and, perhaps, enjoy some respite from the hectic schedule that is a part of my profession.

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