Dear Fred Jones,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I am ending our love affair.
Yes, I realize that we were only together for twelve weeks, but quite honestly, you have fulfilled your purpose, and I am no longer in need of your attention.
Our time together taught me many things.
1. I will be more in control of the little realm I refer to as my “Queendom.” No longer will I allow others (i.e. the teenagers who enter my realm) to take advantage of me and control my emotions.
2. You taught me how to ward off attacks to my confidence with one single look…the Queen Victoria look…solid…without emotion…relaxed jaw in check.
3. I learned the importance of “The Turn…” slow…toes pointed out…arms hanging behind my back…steady gaze.
4. You taught me that it’s pointless to argue back with a person who’s set on putting forth his/her demands or objections. Listening, with a straight yet unemotional face, while not defending or arguing back, is the way to go.
5. You taught me the importance of helping kids to save face by not calling them out in front of their peers but by having steps in place to help them recognize and correct their behavior on the sly.
So thanks, Fred, for all that you contributed to our brief relationship.
I know it won’t be long before you find a replacement (or two) for me.
Though they don’t know it yet, I pray that they take to heart the lessons you so enthusiastically wait to bestow upon them.