Yesterday evening, my family went to another family’s house for dinner and card games.
To be more specific, we were going to be playing Spoons…
The link above explains how to play.
Before dinner, Chicky and her friend, D, explained the “official” rules and even played a practice round with me. I don’t do abstract, you know, and have to see things to understand them.
As we gathered around the table after we had eaten, D’s mom and dad began to explain the “unofficial” rules.
Because the point of the game is to wind up with a spoon, players are allowed to use any means to acquire said spoons.
By “any” I do mean any.
In fact, the previous evening, Chicky had spent the night at this home, and they had played Spoons for several hours. D’s father showed me where Chicky had stabbed him in the hand with her fingernail during a fight over a spoon.
What can I say? I’ve taught my children to give everything their all.
The game moves very quickly, and being sneaky is both allowed and actually expected.
Fake moves toward a spoon are allowed (you can pretend you’ve got four of a kind and reach for a spoon to lure others to the pile). If the first person to grab a spoon doesn’t actually have four of a kind, he/she gets a point, which is not a good thing.
I’ll get to that in a second.
Something else that is allowed is the crawling over or under furniture and people to acquire a spoon.
Oh, and don’t think that you should show mercy to your elders. Age means nothing when you play this game.
You are basically allowed to do anything to get a spoon, short of actually murdering another person, thus choke holds are allowed as long as you release your grip before the other player loses consciousness.
As I said, the “unofficial” rules remained abstract concepts until we actually started playing.
The first couple of rounds were tame, by all accounts, but it did not take long for things to heat up.
I played nice.
I really did…
Until a plot developed to make me get a point.
After all, I’m pretty good at multitasking. I am, after all, a teacher…used to managing 25 youngsters at once.
However, D used an arm-sweeping tactic to throw all of the spoons off of the table when she laid down her four of a kind.
A mad scramble ensued, and I’m not ashamed to say that I crawled over Rooster, who was sitting beside me, to make a grab for a spoon.
My efforts were in vain.
A few rounds later, I actually knocked my chair over and crawled under Rooster’s chair to get to a spoon.
I got what I wanted.
Now, this family created a rule that once a player gets five points (loses five rounds), that player has to perform a dare decided upon by the rest of the group.
D’s mom was the first to reach five.
We walked her outside, where it was quite dark, and watched as she stood in the middle of the neighborhood street meowing at full volume for ten solid seconds.
It was pitiful.
I definitely did not want to reach five.
However…I am AuburnChick, and my life is, sad to say, the perfect example of Murphy’s Law.
I did, in fact, reach five.
I had to do the Stanky Legg…in the middle of their entrance way…with all of the lights on and D and Chicky filming me.
I had to do the entire Stanky Leg.
Here’s a video of what the dance is supposed to look like…
For the record, the above video is for the clean version.
I dirtied mine up a bit once I got into it.
I’m sorry. I do teach high school.
Oh, and I must tell you that this couple who so kindly opened their home…yeah…they go to church with us.
It was all in good fun, and it was a great evening.
I will admit that I am a bit nervous because Chicky refuses to delete the video from her phone. She has assured me that she will not upload it; however, I see blackmail on the horizon.
She is, after all, a smart girl.
I wouldn’t raise anything but.