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When You Can’t Say What You Want to Say

I’ve been quiet of late.

I don’t quite know why except that I’ve been tired thanks to a hectic schedule at school (short weeks are harder than regular weeks).  I know I’ve got a busy few weeks ahead of me, and I suspect that I’m feeling tired ahead of time for those weeks.

I’ve thought about blogging and have…in my mind…each and every day.

And then comes today when I really want to blog but can’t because I know that the things I want and need to say might be taken the wrong way by someone who might happen to read them.

Oh, how I need this blog to vent.

It’s my sounding board; albeit, via a one-sided conversation…although your comments remind me that I’m not blogging to empty space.

My blog helps me work through my feelings, which feel like they’ve been stomped, once again, all over…smashed to smithereens.

Part of me wants to write a thank you/not really thank you letter…

But I can’t because the words I want to say will offend the person they are addressed to and, contrary to what some people might think, I actually do consider my words carefully.

What’s a person to do, besides shell out thousands of dollars for therapy?

How about this…

Yep.

I phoned a friend, and just as in olden times, I poured out my heart to her because I knew I could say what needed to be said without offending her (she wasn’t the person I was venting about).

Sigh.

I don’t do well when I can’t say what I need to say.

Perhaps I’ll figure out a way to do so to the person who needs to hear what I have to say…

So I don’t find myself having a meltdown every year around this time.

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One Response

  1. I think we all go through those times where we cant describe how we feel, or what’s eating us.. I’m so thankful for the Holy Spirit that intercedes when can’t speak our struggles out.

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