When I woke up this morning and began looking at my various social media feeds, I saw this…
It had been posted by the Proverbs 31 ministry.
I loved the accompanying verse:
Psalm 37:23-26New International Version (NIV)
23 The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing.[a]
How these words spoke to my soul as I read them.
My pace has slowed to a crawl.
You should have seen the Mr. last Monday as we made our way from the car in the parking lot to my surgeon’s office. This was before my surgery (I got wheeled out afterward).
I took baby steps on my crutches.
I was terrified of hitting a crack in the sidewalk and falling.
He patiently escorted me, ready to catch me if I lost my balance.
I frequently apologized for going so slow.
He told me that he was glad I wasn’t going faster.
If you know me personally, you have seen me walk and heard me talk.
I do everything QUICKLY.
Even in my classroom.
I can be across the room faster than a student can turn his head.
My fitness watch / step counter loves me.
I’ve struggled with so many different aspects of my injury…physical pain, emotional distress, and frustration.
Slowing down has been a huge adjustment.
Yesterday, I had a pity party. Actually the party moved after the Mr. wouldn’t indulge me. I began texting back and forth with my friend, Barb. She doesn’t do pity parties, let me tell you. She gives you a minute (for me, she’s allowing two since I’m on crutches) before she tells you to pick yourself up and get on with business.
She listened, though, in the text-chat kind of way.
She told me, “You will have your life back – just a bump in the road. Sometimes we need [to] get nudged from above to sit…”
This comes from a woman who doesn’t know how to sit.
She reminded me that this is another blessing in disguise.
It’s kind of hard to argue with God about being still when That’s. All. You. Can. Do.
The Bible verse that followed the illustration hit me too.
It is God who makes firm our steps.
He is the one who will determine when my ankle is strong again.
As a person who is used to being in control, this is difficult to come to terms with.
Beyond what I am doing…elevating my leg nearly 24/7…eating right…sleeping as much as I can…heeding all other directives given to me…I. Can. Do. Nothing.
To speed my healing along…to get back into my rush-rush life.
And so I am trying to deal with this with as much grace as I can.
I am thankful for this time, mind you, even as I fight my feelings of letting others down.
Just as God is directing my pace, so is He directing that of others.
It’s as if life is one long song, the rhythm of which changes according to the tempo of each stanza.
Although I am not currently dancing a fast jig, I will do so one day, once my healing is complete.
Just as the Mr. followed closely behind me on our way to the doctor’s office on Monday, God is standing in the gap, strong arms ready to steady me should I start to topple over, as I’m wont to do.
Until this current refrain of my lifesong is over, I remain focused on #findingjoyinthejourney.